Jon Gruden is by far my favourite American commentator/analyst/whatever you want to call him. He’s extremely knowledgable, he’s extremely funny and he has an extremely good television voice.
Every time he says “this guy” (which is about three times each sentence) referring to how good a player is, it never ceases to cheer me up, regardless of how bad my Seahawks are playing, nor how good the Patriots are playing.
I was watching the fourth quarter of the Pats Chiefs game yesterday and towards the end of the blowout fourth quarter, Gruden proceeded into a tangent into great athletes in America. It wasn’t long before they put up a graphic of a number of NBA players Gruden wanted in the NBA, the positions they would play and the teams they should play for.
It was as good television as I have seen in a very long time.
First name was Steve Nash. Little surprise that he thought he should be a quarterback and he said the Texans need a QB and he would be perfect there. I’m not sure how strong those little arms are, but man can he find a teammate. There wouldn’t be too many incompletions.
Next was LeBron James, the man who has seemed most likely (which means nothing at all) to actually contemplate making the jump to the NFL. He was a star wide receiver coming out of high school and Gruden wanted to see him at WR for the Lions.
“LeBron James, let’s send him to the Lions. Let him play opposite Calvin Johnson. You defend that.”
James came under a lot of fire from Warren Sapp and a few other idiotic NFL personalities over his flirtation with pro football, but Gruden and Jaworski, two of football’s brightest minds, both said they would love to see, play with and coach him in the NFL. I’ll take their opinions over an arrogant, ignorant and stupid former Raider.
Gruden continued with receivers, moving to Jason Terry the best sixth man in the league. He cited the sixth man tag, saying he could be another receiver for Aaron Rodgers to throw to in Green Bay.
The final receiver he had pinned was Rajon Rondo.
“Rajon Rondo, man I love this guy!”
Rondo we all know has amazing hands and great quickness, and Gruden saw him as a great fit for the Jets saying “they need a receiver in New York”.
He then turned to defense.
“Can you imagine Blake Griffin rushing the passer? Forget about it! I love Blake Griffin”
Blake Griffin would be a pretty scary man to try and block, mostly because he would probably just jump over you, especially if you looked anything like the bonnet of a KIA. Gruden saw a need for another pass rusher in Atlanta and stuck him down there.
“Joakim Noah, doesn’t this guy just look like a Raven? Imagine him lining up opposite Terrell Suggs!”
I think most of the Ravens shower and wash their hair, unlike Noah, but the smack talk is certainly there. Noah will have to improve though, because ‘Hollywood as Hell’ isn’t going to cut it in Baltimore. Obviously Gruden wants the near 7ft Noah to play linebacker for the Ravens. That would be something to see.
He then moved to Derrick Rose and thinks he would be a great option for the Bengals at corner back. I didn’t think he was a good defender in basketball, wouldn’t like to see him try and defend someone like DeSean Jackson in the NFL.
Of course you couldn’t go without mentioning Kobe Bryant. Gruden threw him in at the end thinking he would be a great free safety for the Cowboys. Perhaps he could be the antidote to the disease of failure that has plagued this team for so long.
Gruden then hit us with his final recommendation, something that sent me into a laughing fit.
They went back to the extremely boring action in Foxborough for a few minutes before bring up a graphic of Dwight Howard to play for the Colts and to play any position.
“There is no way Dwight Howard isn’t playing sport this year. The Colts need everything, send him there!”
It’s true. The Colts need everything. Dwight Howard can do about everything (except shoot and keep his immature mouth shut) and man that would be fun to see him running around.
Mike Tirico and Ron Jaworski, Gruden’s fellow commentators/analysts were in stitches the entire time Gruden was pulling out this ridiculous yet hysterical ideas for the NBA players during their lockout. I was too.
You can’t help but to love Jon Gruden.
Tags: Aaron Rodgers Atlanta Falcons Baltimore Ravens Basketball Blake Griffin Boston Celtics Chicago Bulls Cincinnati Bengals Cleveland Cavaliers Dallas Cowboys Dallas Mavericks Derrick Rose DeSean Jackson Detroit Lions Dwight Howard ESPN Green Bay Packers Houston Texans Indianapolis Colts Jason Terry Joakim Noah Jon Gruden Kobe Bryant La Clippers LA Lakers Lebron James Los Angeles Clippers Los Angeles Lakers Miami Heat Mike Tirico NBA New York Jets NFL Oakland Raiders Orlando Magic Peyton Manning Pheonix Suns Philadelphia Eagles Rajon Rondo Ron Jaworski Steve Nash Terrell Suggs Warren Sapp