Dearest Santa Clause:
I write to you with great pleasure this holiday season. It’s been tough this year to remain well enough to make your Nice List but I’ve done a pretty good job. I do not believe that I’ve made any brainless Decisions. I’ve remained loyal to my family and friends while always remembering where I came from, even though I was away from home. And, though I haven’t really had the opportunity, I’ve done my best not to make myself look like an arrogant, pompous arse on national television. I’d say, unlike other(s), I’ve been pretty stinking nice this year.
But I do not have a lot to ask you for during this holiday season. As I am sure you know, I am a big fan of all things Cleveland. Cavaliers. Browns. Indians. You name it, Santa.
With that being said, I would consider asking you for a two game winning streak to end the season of our beloved Brownies. That would assure the Manginious of his job next season. And it’d give young Colt McCoy a little momentum heading into his 2011, sophomore campaign. But I am fairly certain they’ll steal both games against their division foes – the Baltimore Ravens and the $hittsburgh Steelers. They’ve been playing up to their competition all season long, beating the Saints one week and getting their pumpkins carved by the Bills in another. I see no reason the Brownies shouldn’t escape with two straight Ws, an absolute stud for a coach (and defensive coordinator), an impressive young quarterback and an absolute animal for a running back.
I also considered asking you for a Sugar Bowl victory for my beloved Buckeyes. But I determined that, too, would be unnecessary. Terrelle Pryor and Boom Herron will have a newfound determination in the midst of their new controversy. Arkansas doesn’t stand a chance. So there is no need to even waste adding that to my Christmas list.
Lord knows I’d be asking too much to even ask for a winning season out of the Indians. So that brings me to the Cavaliers – the favorites of a majority of the people who are reading my Christmas list right now.
As you know, Santa, the city of Cleveland was burned a few months ago by one of the biggest cowards to ever play in the National Basketball Association. Since his departure, our team has struggled through a 8-21 season to date that has found our team at the bottom of the Central division in the Eastern Conference. They’ve been nothing short of bad this season.
But it is only 29 games in to an 82 game. There is plenty of time left for Byron Scott to right the ship. Or, as many fans are calling for, there is plenty of time left to trade away our veterans and get some good young talent – not named JJ Hickson. I have to say, I am very much in favor of doing the latter. But within reason.
The first thing I’d like for Christmas this year is for Antawn Jamison to continue his success in Wine & Gold. I’d like him to continue scoring his season average of 14 points and snagging a steady six rebounds per game. He would be a great piece to any deal that may possibly bring in some young talent. I am not asking for this because I do not like Jamison. Oh contrare . I am a big fan of Stretch-4 and would like nothing more than to see him move on to a championship caliber team. Just not the Miami Heat.
I’d also like for you to make sure Chris Grant and Dan Gilbert will hang on to both Anderson Varejao and Daniel Gibson throughout the entire season. Both of these guys can be key pieces to a young Cavaliers franchise for years to come and both guys are fan favorites in the Cleveland area. Varejao brings all the intangibles to the Cavaliers. He comes to play each and every night. Same goes for Gibson. He is a true professional and has developed into a very steady point guard for Byron Scott this season. A great starter in the NBA? Maybe not. But he could be a key piece off the bench for a great team.
And, though I know this isn’t typically something you do, but I am asking you to give each and every member of the Miami cHeat a lump of coal in their stocking — maybe an extra lump or two in LeTool’s sock. On top of that, I wish for you to allow the Snow-Meiser to take his talents to South Beach and cool off the cHeat and not allow them to obtain an NBA Championship…ever. Though, I believe they don’t have a real good shot to win one as things stand right now.
Anyways Santa, I hope you take me up on my three wishes this season. I am not asking for much.
Merry Christmas to you, fella.