At this hour, we know two things for sure: A.) Shaquille O’Neal has been traded to the Cavs; B.) Shaq loves giving himself nicknames. That’s why we wanted to welcome the Big Fella with open arms and 20 Cleveland-inspired nickname suggestions. Anything to make Cleveland feel like home for the three-time NBA Finals MVP.
The Remake on the Lake – There’s little doubt that Shaq will pledge to bring a championship back to the Mistake on the Lake, just like he pledged to when he arrived in Miami.
Cav-a-Shaq – This one might turn a phrase with negative memories (“Hack-a-Shaq”) into something more pleasant.
LeBrawn – LeBron James is big, but No. 23’s only medium sized compared to the giant-sized No. 34.
The Twibe - A fusion of the hometown Tribe and The_Real_Shaq‘s Twitter obsession.
Brad Daughterneze &
Scary Larry Nance – Cleveland saw some good big men back in the day, but they’ve never seen anything like the Big Fella.
Zone Thugs-N-Harmony – The only way you are going to stop a revitalized Shaq in Cleveland is with a lot of zone and a full assortment of fouls.
Shaquillbasa- Kielbasa is one of the most popular foods around town, and it wouldn’t surprise us to see this moniker pop up on a few menus.
Chief Shaq Fu – Chief Wahoo gets a modern-day update, and named after one of the worst rap acts in history (sorry, big guy).
Basketball Jim Brown – Ain’t nobody bullied Cleveland opponents like Jim Brown did during his prime until, well, now.
Rock ‘n’ Roll Wall of Fame – Try to take it to the hole on the Diesel. Just try it. Especially with LeBron as his Swat Team partner.
Bartles (and James) -The best duo from the 80s not named Hall and Oates, Magic and Kareem, Montana and Rice or Crockett and Tubbs reborn.
The Kardiac Big – Paying homage to the Browns team that came the closest to beating the ’72 Dolphins, aka the Kardiac Kids.
Zydrunas Ilswatskus – The Big Aristotle isn’t the defensive force he used to be, but he still loves to sit back in the cut and send balls flying into the stands.
Shaqer Heights – That place ain’t called Shaker Heights any more. Get out the spray paint and change the signs, Clevelanders.
Hot Bod – If skinny-ass, underachieving John “Hot Rod” Williams gets to be Hot Rod, then Mr. O’Neal gets to be Hot Bod. Only fair.
The Dawg Mound – Hey, in Cleveland both the size of the dog in the fight and the size of the fight in the dog matter.
Cavalanche – Is exactly what’s going to hit the Eastern Conference later this year. Can’t you see him running down the court making that shivering face he makes?
The Big O’Hio – Might as well start taking bets on how long it will take Shaq to give himself this nickname. Gonna happen.
Dark Price – He will have to really, really, REALLY work on his free-throw shooting, but we can see him going here, too.